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The Grand Cross Over

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    troydem@polarcomm.com

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    Search for Significance

    This life is hard as we are search for our significance and identity - I hope this forum will help you in your journey.

    Search for Truth

    This world can be hard as we are all on a journey to find truth and significance. I pray this forum helps you on your journey.
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    Posts12

    In this together

    Life can feel like a puzzle. Pieces get scattered and some are missing. Let's start putting those piece back together.
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    Posts4
    New Posts
    • Tiffany DeMars
      Feb 21
      Is Happiness Possible?
      In this together
      Is happiness a choice? Is it a responses to one's situation? Many struggle with this looming question when going through very trying times. "Is happiness a choice and if am unhappy - have I failed to make the choice to be happy?" Defining "Happiness" might help us some. According to Merriam-Webster, " Happiness " is Defined as: 1a : a state of well-being and contentment : JOY b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience "I wish you every happiness in life." According to an article I recently read in Psychology Today on this very topic. Some "prominent voices on the subject of happiness Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage says this, " What I want people to realize is happiness can be a choice, and it’s something you can practice. But if you’re feeling unhappy, that’s not failure. What we want to steer people away from is apathy, which is that loss of movement. So, we want to focus on getting people back towards movement..." Michelle Gielan, author of Broadcasting Happiness goes on to say, "It’s about being conscious about how we devote our mental resources and training our brain to do it." Is happiness that simple? Can happiness truly be found by consciously devoting our mental resources and training our brain by practicing? This might be a good place to start, but " Happiness " goes much deeper then just mental determination - and in the midst of our struggles and pain - having to put more effort and mental determination into willing ourselves into a " happy " state is just not that simple. In the book of Matthew 5 Jesus suggests a much more unconventional way to find happiness . Let's look at His famous Sermon on the Mount on the very topic of " How to find Happiness " "1 Jesus saw the crowds and went up a hill, where he sat down. His disciples gathered around him, 2 and he began to teach them. 3 “Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! 4 “Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them! 5 “Happy are those who are humble; they will receive what God has promised! 6 “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully! 7 “Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them! 8 “Happy are the pure in heart; they will see God! 9 “Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children! 10 “Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! 11 “Happy are you when people insult you and persecute you and tell all kinds of evil lies against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy and glad, for a great reward is kept for you in heaven. This is how the prophets who lived before you were persecuted.?" **Disclaimer** I am in NO WAY encouraging anyone to stay in a relationship or situation that is emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually abusive and dangerous. I have spent enough time with women and students to know that many stay with abusers because they believe they can "save" their abuser, or keep their abuser happy, or that in some way it is the "Christian" thing to do, to stay and "honor" an abusive parent or spouse/partner. IT IS NOT - get out and get help. Find a church, a domestic violence advocate, police, trusted friend - or Anyone - that will help you get out and get safe. Now, what I am writing about today is: Can we experience happiness when we are in the midst of difficult days and if so, how can we find and experience happiness? In the next several blog posts we will look at each "Happy are those..." statements to hopefully discover why God would suggests we follow this way of living. But for today - know this - in the first verse of this passage, it tells us a very important truth that anyone who is hurting needs to hear and know - " Jesus saw the crowds and went up a hill, where he sat down." Jesus sees you Jesus comes to you and helps you where you are at Jesus sits with you and will not leave you. 1. Jesus sees you - God's word tells us that His eye is always on us. For some that may be intimidating - God sees everything I do? Yes- it should be a bit intimidating - yet at the same time it should comfort you- to know that you are never lost from His sight. For others, knowing that God sees them in their suffering and doesn't stop it can can also bring about other feelings - like anger or confusion. I will discuss this more in another post - but for today- try to let yourself be encouraged that God sees your suffering and is working in the midst of it and does care about your pain and if you can have just a little bit of faith in Him - it can move mountains ( Matthew 17:20 ) " The eyes of the LORD watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. Psalm 34:15 “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9 2. Jesus comes to you and helps you - God's word not only tell us that He sees us (in our good times and hard times), but that He is always with you and actively drawing you nearer to Him and actively at work to care for you and help you. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." Romans 8:26–27 3. Jesus sit with you and will not leave you - God tells us throughout His word that " He will never leave you forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6 - and that " God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble . Psalm 46 and that we can "Be strong and courageous and not be frightened, or dismayed, because God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 Trusting in these promises that God will never leave those who are His, can and should help comfort us when we are in a fog and we "feel" alone, hurt and left wondering if we will feel happy again. Talking to God about what is causing you sadness or pain can help, reading through the Psalms can help, talking with and surrounding yourself with trusted caring friends can help you as well. Knowing that in your pain you can be find moments to smile and laugh - and have moments of happiness -can help you get through dark days - one moment at a time.
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    • Tiffany DeMars
      Feb 07
      World Religions at a Glance - Buddhism
      Search for Truth
      "A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless then he is in truth called wise." Buddha When studying Buddhism over the years, I have found it to be one of deep philosophical thought. Buddha - like many other great thinkers and religions understand that a human's mind is composed of : emotions, intellect and will, but in Buddhism - the mind is the key to ones eternity - not an external god. The essence Buddhism is to reach the state of Nirvana or Enlightenment where one's mind is free and pure and to live a virtuous life ridding oneself of bad deeds. Thus the mind is crucial to a Buddhist because if one cannot control one's emotions, intellect, and will, one's life will not function harmoniously in life and one will never discover their true self. Buddha's teachings are spiritual disciplines and practical methods that help a Buddhist learn the discipline of being fully responsible for their individual lives so they can better control their thinking and emotions. Which is their ultimate goal - Nirvana - where one can fully attain control so they can remove all suffering and gain happiness. In Buddhism, nothing is permanent and all actions have consequences. They aim to live a life free from external conditions determining one's emotions, actions, and thoughts. Buddha had Four Noble Truths one lives by: First Noble Truth: True Problems Although there are many joys to be had in life, every being – from the tiniest insect, to a homeless person, to a billionaire – faces problems. In between birth and death, we age and get sick, and our loved ones die. We face frustration and disappointment, not getting what we want, or encountering what we don’t want. *To live is to suffer (Dukha or anything that is "unpleasant, difficult, or painful) Second Noble Truth: True Cause of Problems Our problems arise from complex causes and conditions, but Buddha said that the ultimate cause is our own ignorance of reality: the way our minds project impossible ways of existence on to ourselves and everyone and everything else. *Suffering is caused by desire (Tanha, or “attachment”) Third Noble Truth: True Stopping of Problems Buddha saw that it was possible to get rid of all our problems so that we never have to experience them again, by destroying their cause: our own ignorance. *One can eliminate suffering by eliminating all attachments Fourth Noble Truth: The True Path of Mind Problems stop when we eliminate ignorance, by understanding reality correctly. We do this by realizing that everyone is interconnected and interdependent. On this basis we develop love and compassion for all beings equally. Once we’ve eliminated our confusion about how we and others exist, we’re able to act beneficially for ourselves and others. *This can be achieved by following the noble eightfold path which consists of having a right 1) view, 2) intention, 3) speech, 4) action, 5) livelihood (being a monk), 6) effort (properly direct energies), 7) mindfulness (meditation), and 8) concentration (focus). Buddhism is one of the leading world religions and was founded by Siddhartha Guatama , who was born into royalty in Nepal around 600 B.C. Much of his life are legendary, but he is still considered an actual historical figure. Guatama was a deep thinker and had little exposure to the outside world as his parents wanted to protect him from pain and worldly suffering. Guatama had four visions, or what is know as: The Four Signs: An aged man A sick man A dead man A religious ascetic His fourth vision was of a peaceful monk. He saw that the monk was at total peace, so he decided to become one as well; one who sets himself apart from worldly living and desires, and abandoned his life of wealth and affluence to pursue enlightenment -through his own means and became known as the Buddha (“awakened” or “enlightened” one). - Buddhism and Hinduism are very similar in that they both involve reincarnation, karma, Maya (unreality, distinct from the reality represented by God or Brahman; the world is an illusion, a play of the supreme consciousn. -In Buddhism, sin is more understood as ones own ignorance. So sin is seen as more of a “moral error.” Buddhist - like Hinduism, practice Karma, which is nature’s balance. Like Hinduism, Buddhist adhere to good work "ethical living" and focus on meditating and turning to spiritual beings with the intent of "hopefully" achieving enlightenment and ultimate Nirvana. -Buddhism has a complicated theology of deities and spiritual beings much like Hinduism. Buddhism can be hard to define its view of god. Some sects of Buddhism would be called atheistic, while others could be called pantheistic. -"The" Buddha never exclaimed or defined himself to be a god; instead he considered himself to be a ‘way-shower' for others. It was only after his death that some of his followers exalted him to a god status by, though not all of his followers view him this way. -They are taught that people do not have individual souls, since self is an illusion. As we look back over some basic tenets of the Buddhist world view, sadly they are taught that tanha , "desire" or "attachment," is the root of suffering and is to be removed. But are there not many good things that come from desire? Friendship, family, romance, care or compassion are all grounded in love. Love is the desire to care for and do good of another ( John 15:13 ; 1 John 4:7-12 ). Could we truly love if we had detached desires or could we truly care for another's well-being. Jesus taught us that desire is good when it is lived out in a way that honors His Father. Paul urges Christians to "desire the greater gifts" of the Spirit ( 1 Corinthians 12:31 ; 14:1 ). David writes in the Psalms, of his worship and adoration of God and the longing to have fellowship with God ( Psalm 42:1-2 ; 84 ). Above all - God is love - God desires a relationship with us - His creation - ( 1 John 4:9 ; Psalm 136 ; John 3:16 ). Sacrificing desire throws out the gift of God's love and a living relationship and we miss out on true intimacy in general - all for the sole purpose of avoiding suffering.
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    • Tiffany DeMars
      Feb 04
      Finding The Missing Piece - To Find Peace
      In this together
      Don't you hate it when a piece of your puzzle is missing? You spend hours searching, sorting, grouping, and slowly piece by piece your puzzle begins to come to life and you begin to see what it was intended to look like all along - and when you finally reach the end - you look for that last piece and nothing - Where is that last piece?! Did it fall on the floor? Did your dog eat it? Is your child or spouse hiding it on you so they can claim the victory in finishing the puzzle! It's just not complete until you have last piece! Why? Because that's not how it's supposed to go - you must find that piece - to have peace. I last spoke about how crucial it is for our healing process to acknowledge the reality of sin in this world and how it affects everyone - When sin entered the world, death came with it ( Rom. 5:12 ). There was an immediate Spiritual death that happened in the garden that day to Adam and Eve ( Genesis 3 ) Which brought about Physical death . Which brought about Emotional death and Mental death . Just like the creator of that puzzle - God envisioned how He wanted to create you. How you would look, how you would smile, how your laugh would sound, the color of your eyes and hair - whether curly or straight - blonde or brown - every amazing piece that makes you - you. You are a Masterpiece - Created in God's image. ( Genesis 1:27 ) Yet because sin entered the world - we don't always feel that amazing - we don't feel special - we don't feel like we have great value and worth to anyone, let alone God - and in the process we grow old, we get sick, and then we die. The consequence of sin is death at every level. Remember dear one - If we can begin to accept that sin exists and is at the root of our pain - and is the cause of all suffering - whether by our own sinful choices or by another's sinful behavior and treatment towards us - that is a healthy first step. We were designed by God in His own image ( Genesis 1:27 ) We are His masterpiece ( Ephesians 2:10 ; Psalm 8:4–6 ) and We were designed to have a loving, safe, fulfilling relationship with our Abba Father, Creator God. So how is Jesus the missing piece of our puzzle? Jesus came for many reasons - but I want to focus on only a few for today. 1. Jesus came to bring us life - In ( John 10:10 ), Jesus said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” What did sin bring with it? Death right? Remember the puzzle we are trying to finish off - finding that missing piece? Sin is a thief and destroyer of your puzzle - The thief of our "piece" and "peace" is the enemy of God - Satan, and the Lord Jesus Christ conquered death on the cross ( Romans 6:23 , Revelation 20:11-15 . ) He came to give of Himself. He came to bring us back to life so that we can live fully alive in Him starting today and life eternal with Him and His Father - filled with meaning, purpose, joy, and freedom. 2. Jesus came to set the captive free - ( Luke 4: 16-21 ) tells us that "Jesus came to Nazareth where He had grown up" and that "He went into the Jewish place of worship on the Day of Rest." While He was there "He stood up to read," so "Someone handed Him the book of the early preacher Isaiah-" and "He opened it and found the place where it was written, “ The Spirit of the Lord is on Me. He has put His hand on Me *To preach the Good News to poor people. *He has sent Me to heal those with a sad heart. *He has sent Me to tell those who are being held that they can go free. *He has sent Me to make the blind to see and *To free those who are held because of trouble. *He sent Me to tell of the time when men can receive favor with the Lord. ” Then "Jesus closed the book. Then He gave it back to the leader and sat down. All those in the Jewish place of worship kept their eyes on Him. Then He began to say to them, “The Holy Writings you have just heard have been completed today.” 3. Jesus came to destroy Satan’s power - ( Hebrews 2:14 ) tells us that "It is true that we share the same Father with Jesus. And it is true that we share the same kind of flesh and blood because Jesus became a man like us. He died as we must die. Through His death He destroyed the power of the devil who has the power of death." Read that last statement again - Jesus is our Savior! Jesus has won the victory for our freedom on our behalf! Jesus is the hero in all of our stories - we just need to put our trust in Him and acknowledge that we too are sinners in need of His saving grace - and the process of our freedom and healing and victory in the areas that hold us in bondage - will begin to unfold. 4. Jesus came to take away sin - There is no one here on earth that can remove the sting and stain of sin - only Jesus and that is why He is the missing piece to your puzzle - who will bring you wholeness and peace. "Jesus came to take away our sins," because, "there is no sin in him." ( 1 John 3:5 ) 5. Jesus came to help us know what and who is true - The more we open ourselves to the possibility and reality of God's love for us and His goodness and His truth - the sooner we will begin to experience hope that we can face our trials, over come our fears and pain, and begin a new life free from our past and baggage. ( 1 John 5:20 ) tells us that, "We know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us understanding so that we can know the true God. And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life." As we close for today, I want to share with you briefly of a man named Job - you can read more about him in the Bible - he has his own book. Job's story is one of great loss and intense pain - a story of a man who wrestled with trusting God after all he lost and the grief and pain he had to face and endure. He had some good friends and some not so good friends who tried to give him advice in the midst of his suffering - Here was the advice of one of his friends that I will leave you with today - though the pain you may be experiencing is not because of your own sin - after what we learned today - confessing your need for God's saving grace will still set you free. Job 11:13-19 “If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your face will brighten with innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. You will forget your misery; it will be like water flowing away. Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help."
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